In my younger days, I was a champion of rationality. I was never a determinist, and I still don't think I believe in fate, but i certainly believed that there was a rational way to solve even the most irrational of problems. However, it occured to me that most of the legends of mankind acquired their status preciseley because they acted without regard for sensibility. If I had been Leonides, I never would have stood at Thermopylae. If I had found myself in Magellan's place, I would have said it was foolish to brave the strait. I wonder if being a man of science, I have limited myself to doing what I believed was reasonable. Have I closed doors for myself by analysing and planning every step, every race, every word? Have I made things impossible by believing that they were impossible?
"It's the hardest thing in the world, believing in something" That's a good quote. Everyone dreams, perhaps I more than most. Nonetheless, I feel like I haven't always believed in those dreams. i feel like I have analysed and analysed and overanalysed, and taken the safe route more than maybe I should have. I've thought a lot about this lately, and I think that there are situations where a leap of faith might be the most rational course of action, as paradoxical as that sounds. The situation where i have come the closest to doing that is in the matter of personal values and personal conduct. For as long as I can remember, I have been an outsider in that area. I was among the last to start drinking, I remain 19 years drug-free, and in other, "personal" areas, I have shown far more prudence than most.
I have always believed that a moral existence would, in the end, make me a better man. I couldn't give a rational justification for that though. I could talk about health risks and so on, but in the end, I am the way I am because I believe in those values. And true to the earlier quote, it has been a hard thing, believing in that. In school too, I have faith. I have always believed that high academic achivement was within the reach of anyone who was willing to put in the requsite effort.
People don't agree with me, I know, and Sara opened my eyes to the fact that I am quite alone in that opinion. I am among the few who believe that a 4.0 is achiveable. I am among the few who believe that no test is so hard that it is impossible to get an A. I quoted Roger Ebert, who, when talking about Chariots of Fire, said, "It reminds us of a time when men believed they could do anything if only they wanted to badly enough." I stand by that when it comes to school, and to some extent, when it comes to careers. This has gotten me in a little bit of trouble lately, which is one of the things that got me thinking about this whole conundrum. I have always tried to be the "nice guy" but lately I feel like I havent been modest enough about my academic achivements, and I feel like this had alienated and intimidated people whose friendship I value.
After thinking about these questions for a few days, I have narrowed them down to a few, specific matters for thought. First, would it help me in some areas, specifically athletics and relationships, to be more of a man of faith? Second, in the areas where I have have put my faith in a specific path. how do I avoid trying to press that path onto others and/or seeming arrogant and elitist? Third, why, in the areas where I have strong beliefs, such as personal conduct and school, does planning and detail seem to provide excellent results, whereas in other areas, like the aforementioned athletics and relationships, does analytical breakdown usually fail to provide satisfactory results? Fourth, what exactly is the relationship between faith and reason? Can I be a man of science and a man of faith? At present I have only partial answers to these questions.
I found two quotes that have helped begin to formulate the beginnings of answers to at least some of the questions. "And three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" That helps a little. But most significantly, i have begun to see some glimmers of understanding when it comes to the last question. The passage from Lost that mentions the quandary is a revealing one.
Locke: I think... that's why you and I don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, Jack because you're a man of science.
Jack: Yeah, and what does that make you?
Locke: Me, well, I'm a man of faith. We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason.
Jack: Brought here? And who brought us here, John?
Locke: The island. The island brought us here. This is no ordinary place, you've seen that, I know you have. But the island chose you, too, Jack. It's destiny.
Jack: I don't believe in destiny.
Locke: [pause] Yes, you do. You just don't know it yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment